What do you do when your original life plan goes awry? You PIVOT! (If you’re a fan of the show Friends, you likely read that the way I wanted you to.) No, but seriously, you have to pivot and shake things up sometimes.
We’ve seen frequent examples of this in films and TV shows. Take the movie She’s the Man, for example. In the movie, Viola Hastings – played by Amanda Bynes – is passionate about playing soccer. Her drive for the game quickly turned into a point of pride when the girls’ soccer team at her school, which she captained, was cut.
Her plan to get back on an active team and prove that the sport was not exclusive to boys required an elaborate scheme in which she’d have to dress as her twin brother, attend his school, and join their soccer team. Hastings encountered many hiccups along the way and, nearing the end of the movie, put the gimmicks aside and pivoted her original plan to still prove her point… and she did!
Life is, admittedly, not a movie, and won’t always follow the “if not this, then that” formula. In fact, we experience moments and instances in a very non-linear way…or at least that’s how it is for me. I’ve been in situations where I thought certain things couldn’t go any further left, and it did. What makes matters worse is when lack of motivation sets in – that moment when you’ve run out of hope and wishful thinking. It’s in that space that giving up seems like the next course of action.
But though our lives may not fully reflect fictional scripts and made-up characters, I believe we can still pull some pointers from these lands of make-believe:
1. Understand Your End-Goal
It’s unfair to say things aren’t going your way, or life isn’t going as planned, if you never had a plan. Understanding what you want to do with your life doesn’t come so easily for everyone, but at some point, you’ve gotta figure out what that thing is. In some movies, this revelation doesn’t come for the protagonist until the film has almost ended, and while I don’t agree on waiting until the last “30 minutes” of your life to figure out what you want to do with it, I do agree with using all the resources available to you to get to that point just the way people do in the movies. That could look like reconnecting with old friends or networks that may help you realize where your passion lies. Or it could look like taking a class for something you were once curious about…whatever it is, you’ve got to first have some idea of what your end-goal, or day I say purpose, is.
2. Try to Achieve It
Okay, so at this point, the first step is complete. You’ve decided what you want to do. Next up: try to do it! You’ll never know how far you can get or what you can achieve if you don’t try it. Fears have a way of getting into our heads and convincing us that some avenues are not for us, and I’m here to tell you that those fears are WRONG…they are lying to you. Do not let insecurities, fears, or any other factor keep you from trying to achieve your goals. The most important thing is that you start and try.
3. Fake It Till You Make It
In She’s the Man, Viola Hastings literally embodied this. She dressed up as her brother – prosthetics, fake sunburns, and all – and infiltrated the Illyria High School’s soccer team and played her butt off. You don’t need to be as dramatic as her, but sometimes the drasticness pushes you forward.
Use me as an example. I remember when I first started my graduate program, there was one particularly difficult class. It changed the way I felt about my writing, and I was struggling to tap into the drive that originally made me apply to the program. Despite how I felt, I knew I had to keep pushing because that was the only way I was going to get my degree. So, every day, I continued to show up, continued listening to feedback on assignments and making adjustments to my work, until I felt that spark again. It was not easy, but I faked it until I made it, and praise the Lord that I did, because I walked away with my Master’s degree in Journalism a year and a half later.
So just do, do, and do, until you can’t do anymore.
4. If All Else Fails… PIVOT
So, you picked a goal, tried to make it work, and it didn’t. It’s around this time that regret and fear of failure start to kick in. I’m very much an advocate for fully allowing yourself to grieve anything you may have lost – whether that’s a loved one, an opportunity, or a friend. What’s most important is that you get out of the grieving slump eventually.
I remember one time I lost an opportunity that I was really looking forward to. I messaged my mentor because I was too embarrassed to call, and he responded with these simple words: “Have your pity party today, but tomorrow, it’s back to business.” That may seem harsh, and I promise he meant well, but he was right. The longer I stayed in gloom about something that could have been, the longer I kept myself from finding something that actually works for me.
So, just pivot. And, it’s often in the redirections of life that you find so many things you’re passionate about.
One scripture that motivates me during a time of pivoting is Ephesians 9:10 (NIV). The beginning of that verse says, “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might…” It serves as a great reminder that EVEN IF you’re not doing that thing that you had set your mind to, you should be diligent with the things that you have. You never know how that one thing you’re working on may change your life, and even benefit the lives of those around you.
All in all, do not sit around and let life kick you around. When you’re struggling to find your way, don’t give up, baby…just pivot. ~Shanaé H.
