Grief can hit you like a truck, especially when you aren’t prepared for it. For much of my life, I didn’t know how to deal with grief because major losses were rare for me.

As a child, I knew of several people who passed away. Most were older members of my church; others were the parents or siblings of childhood friends, or people from the wider community. For years, death felt like something that happened to other families — not mine.

Because of that, I never really learned how to grieve well. That changed in 2018 when, less than a year after moving to this country, my maternal grandmother passed away. I remember hearing the news and not fully registering it. It didn’t feel real. Yes, I knew she had been sick for some time, but she was the strongest believer in Jesus Christ I had ever known. Surely, I thought, she would be okay. I
was wrong.

I couldn’t eat, barely slept, and lived in a constant state of unease. I wasn’t alone in those feelings. My entire family was shaken to the core. Still, we understood that living in unending sadness wasn’t the answer. Each day was a struggle, but through shared memories, intentional togetherness, and the strength we found in prayer, we slowly found our way back to some sense of normalcy — all while keeping my grandmother’s memory alive in our hearts. Since then, death has felt heavier to me.

More recently, close family friends experienced a loss unlike any other. Grief consumed them, and it was clear they needed the same kind of familial covering my family had received after my grandmother passed. While nothing could replace what they had lost, taking time to heal — surrounded by love and support — helped them in ways they couldn’t have anticipated.

So why share all of this? Because death is inevitable. Though we’re introduced to the concept early in life, it’s never easy to face. Today, death seems to be everywhere — in the news, on social media, and within our own communities. We can’t control when it happens, but we can choose to be a source of comfort for someone navigating loss.

And if you’re in the midst of grief yourself — especially if you feel like you’re walking through it alone — don’t give up. Do the best you can, one moment at a time. That, too, is enough.

~ Shanaé H.